Curling, Lobsters, and Joan McCusker's Email

This is an old joke:

A man watches a lobster fisher throw three lobsters into a bucket. Concerned, the man approaches the fisher and asks if he isn't worried that the lobsters will climb out because the bucket has no cover.

"No worries," replied the fisher. "These are Canadian lobsters. If one starts to climb out, the others will pull him back in."

And that's how it is in Canada. In the US, we learn to recognize and celebrate success. In Canada, that would be bragging. It takes some getting used to.

Last week the Scotties Tournament of Hearts was held in Regina, Saskatchewan. That's the Canadian Women's Curling championships. The winner goes on to represent Canada at the Worlds next month. The opening of the week-long championships marked the ten year anniversary of the Team Canada gold medal win at the 1998 Olympics in Japan. The winning team hailed from Regina. They became national icons ("heroes" would, of course, be bragging) over night.


The team was skipped by Sandra Schmirler, who died just two years later at the age of 36, of cancer. The Sandra Schmirler Foundation keeps her memory alive. The remaining members of that team, Marcia Gudereit, Joan McCusker, and Jan Betker, continued to curl at a high level, but were not able to win another national or international title.

Joan McCusker is now a commentator for CBC's curling coverage. I wish I had Joan McCusker's email, because I think she could help me understand something about Canadians.

Colleen Jones, certainly one of the best Canadian women curlers, won six Canadian championships, two World championships, and a couple of mixed Canadian championships. She is bright, articulate, and gracious. (At least she was gracious to me when I met her, and I'm pretty much nobody.) She was a tremendous representative for the sport and for Canada, and yet Canadians belittle her accomplishments because she chews gum while she curls. I kid you not.

Kelly Scott curls at the same curling club I do. She began this year's Scotties as two-time Canadian champion, and was looking for a third consecutive title. She is a lovely person; polite, generous with her time, gracious, and kind of funny. She doesn't show much emotion on the ice. Still, there were posts on curling forums, articles in newspapers, and general talk among curlers that Kelly and her team "didn't deserve" another championship. Why? Because she has a squeaky, annoying voice when she calls a game.

Help me out, Joan! We all know that Sandra Schmirler is now practically revered for her curling success (Oops! There's that word again!) and for her good nature.

What was it really like out there after 1998? Did the general public say things like, "They don't deserve another win because Sandra did..." whatever Sandra did? Did people complain about her glasses? Did they criticize her style of play?

Well, there's a new Team Canada now, this one led by Jennifer Jones. She doesn't chew gum. Her style of play is more aggressive than Kelly Scott's and Colleen Jones'. She's tall and thin and blond. Let the snarkiness begin.

Is a Canadian spell checker a spell chequer?

There are a lot of extra U's, and unexpected double consonants ("jewellery," for crying out loud) in Canadian English. And then, the really odd spelling of seemingly familiar things. I wonder if a Canadian spell checker is a spell chequer? It takes some getting used to.

Many emails, both business and personal, go to Canadians. But I also correspond with friends and family who are Americans, and I want to use American English. I like Thunderbird for my email for lots of reasons. One of them is that I can check my spelling in either Canadian or American English, and it's easy to do. I just have to select "English/Canada" or "English/United States."

But today, I was confused. I was replying to an email from a Canadian about a party scheduled at the home of an American here in town. But the American started the thread. So which way to go on the spell check?



I decided to go with both: "neighbo(u)rhood" and both spell checkers choked on it. Maybe I'll add it to both dictionaries!

Gonna Need A Bigger Basement

Hello fellow AtomicSuburbia.com listeners. Like you, I'm enjoying Daryl's search for Canadian Identity. Unlike you, perhaps, I am not Canadian. Even though I live here now, it takes some getting used to. And like Daryl, I am searching for what it means to be Canadian.

If you've stumbled in here without coming from the AtomicSurbia.com podcast, and you're in search of the essence of Canadian Identity, quick go right now and check out the podcast. (And hurry back here.)

If you've ended up here because your search engine suggested that this is a good place to convert Fahrenheit to Celsius, check the sidebar for the Scheherazade numbers, or check here for more.

Canada Day Is Not Like The Fourth of July

On the same day Howard Zinn of "The Progressive" exhorts Americans to "...renounce nationalism and all its symbols: its flags, its pledges of allegiance, its anthems, its insistence in song that God must single out America to be blessed." an Ipsos Reid survey informs us that 39% of Canadians believe that Canadians should not be able to hold dual citizenship.

Zinn confuses nationalism and patriotism. Last Fourth of July, Christopher Dickey wrote a piece called "U.S. Nationalism Run Amok" for Newsweek in which he discussed Orwell's "Notes on Nationalism." Patriotism, Orwell wrote, is “devotion to a particular place and a particular way of life, which one believes to be the best in the world but has no wish to force upon other people.”

Dickey elaborates, quoting Orwell:

Nationalism is the habit of identifying oneself with a single nation or an idea, “placing it beyond good and evil and recognizing no other duty than that of advancing its interests.” Patriotism is essentially about ideas and pride. Nationalism is about emotion and blood. The nationalist’s thoughts “always turn on victories, defeats, triumphs and humiliations. … Nationalism is power-hunger tempered by self-deception.”

Flags, pledges of allegiance, anthems, and all that singing, then, are patriotic symbols. Americans believe the United States is the best country in the world and celebrate that on the Fourth of July. We do need to curb the nationalistic behavior, but not necessarily the patriotic celebrations. Americans need something to celebrate.

Here in Canada, it's harder to find people celebrating flags, pledges of allegiance, and Canadian identity. If you're ever going to find it, it's on Canada Day, when Canadians are issued flags at government expense, and encouraged to celebrate...not being Americans. Perhaps I've confused quiet patriotism with noisy nationalism. It takes some getting used to.

When polled by Ipsos Reid, 69% of Canadians said common history, heroes and symbols make Canada a successful society. Just what are those symbols?

Maple Leaf 87%
Beaver 74%
Hockey 73%
Mountie 72%
Canoe 39%
Timbit 31%

(For any non-Canadians who may have stumbled in here, "Maple Leaf" refers to the Canadian flag. "Timbit" is what American call a "donut hole." You get them at Tim Hortons.)

Surprisingly, duct tape didn't make the list. I see cars here held together with duct tape. And they've got a canoe, but no beer. What's up with beer not making the list?

We will celebrate the Fourth of July in this household, at least I will celebrate it. I have some cheap red, white, and blue decorations and banners which arrived in a CARE package several years ago. I have "Stan Freberg Presents The United States of America" on the CD player. I have a Weber grill. And I absolutely have beer. It's Belgian.